It seems like everyone you know is getting married. You no longer attending friend’s birthday party or chillax in the club. Almost every event you are attending is meant for your friends’ full moon party for their babies or wedding dinner. Your friends begin to bring their babies to your place and start calling you “uncle”.
You are such a gentleman, handsome, a professional, so how come you are still single? You want to get paired off too. Here are 10 biggies from Flyingindance why Malaysian Men are still single:
Reason 1: You believe in “E-Romance”
Online romances just aren’t the real deal. Most of you enjoyed “liking” or “commenting” photos or status posted by girls (especially pretty girls) on Social Media. Your potential girlfriend will run away from you because of this. Women tend to be selfish when it comes to love and relationship, we do not want our men to leave so many good comments or liking others’ photos on social media. Don’t forget, Facebook reveals almost everything. Women will categorize you as a ‘pervert’ when they notice your comments on others.
Reason 2: You think you should wait..
Some people think they simply aren’t worthy until they lose weight, amass a certain amount of money, own a property and more. In fact, someone who loves you will fall for your personality , not on materials. So there is no point in waiting, if someone likes you with a condition, she will leave you once you aren’t qualified anymore. So, think again ! You can find that special someone and improve while you are with them.
Reason 3: You think good mates are scarce
Come on, there is a sure chance for disappointment, better to meet lots of people and desensitize yourself to inevitable dating setbacks. Just go out there and date !
Reason 4: You fear becoming dependent
You are too used to do everything on your own. You think you must retain your independence at all costs. You are worrying you will become dependent on your mate. Dr. Levine says this kind of relationship simply doesn’t exist. “We are all hard-wired to become dependent,” he says. “The trick is to find the right person to depend on.”
Reason 5: You are popular on social media
Are you addicted to social media? Lots of single men are. For instance, when some guys added me as a friend on Facebook, I usually view his profile to know if we have common friends. Apparently when I do not know him personally, and the common friends appeared to be all the pretty girls ( that I know personally but he might not), I will just ignore the friend request and categorize him as “just another pervert”.
Reason 6: You are stuck on “the one”
Maybe you had had a perfect one, perhaps you have an ideal mate or relationship in mind. Getting stuck on “the one” is something “avoidant” people often do in order to keep true intimacy at bay. Instead of waiting for “the one” , Flyingindance recommends you to change your mindset and open your heart to someone else. Allow her to get close, and make her special to you.
Reason 7: You don’t move on
If you have taken your first step out toward ending a bad relationship , the second step is to forgive and forget. Breaking up can be hard, but it can be a good thing. At a time like this, it is great to have kind and patient friends who can support you mentally. Never ever post status to get attention or sympathy over social media, it will give a bad impression to the potential one.
Remember, do not idealize an old mate, it makes it hard to find a new one. Don’t compare every new person you meet to idealized ex. Who can live up to that ideal?
Reason 8: You fall for Gender Stereotypes
Men fear commitment? Are women needy? Not necessarily. When it comes to relationships, people fall into one of three basic categories. “Secure” people are warm and loving and feel comfortable with intimacy. “Anxious” people seek closeness but worry their love won’t be reciprocated. “Avoidant” people shun intimacy, valuing independence above all. And studies show most people are “secure.”
Says Dr. Levine, “Most men and women really do want a close, committed relationship and won’t act overly needy or try to push you away.”
Reason 9: You are good to every girl
You fetch A, B, C and D to the date. You invited A,B,C,D,E and F on your birthday. You buy presents for all of them, you are texting all of them, and you know all of their secrets. Then you will make yourself their “best friend” instead of “boyfriend”. The reason is simple, we (your potential girlfriend) want to be your special someone, by not sharing your love with others.
Reason 10: You think you deserve better
A ridiculous one. You think you are so good looking, you have a well-built body, you are the rich and eligible bachelor. You don’t have to be like an ordinary guy who treasures the girlfriend and pamper them well. You want it the other way round, you want to have a beautiful , sexy and clever girlfriend. You want that “ideal” girlfriend to serve you like a king. Hey, wake up ! This is merely your dream. A relationship is a two-way street, not a one-way boulevard. If you don’t change your mindset, your street will constantly be under construction.
Share this to your friends if you think it helps !
(Credit : Dr. Levine, a psychiatrist in New York City)